Would it be impolite to ask him to Snapchat me a gum-shot, so I can be sure he's not a toothless hick?His main profile pic includes three of his mates (those are almost worse than the sneaky selfies because you don't know if you've pulled an alpha male or his loser friend) but we have a mutual acquaintance who assures me he's a "safe bloke". He's exactly the sort of 20-something that Tinder or Ok Cupid would welcome: hip, active on social media, possibly polygamous (a cheat), but authentic and upfront about it.
On closer inspection, his pics are all selfies, which screams "I’m vain and don’t have any friends to take pics of me.” Another cutie introduces himself with a coy "heyyy" (words are stretched out on Tinder, for some reason – "How are you? ") but I note his height in comparison to his friends in group shots. Tuesday My sociopathic curiosity and appetite for constant validation are fuelled by Tinder's addictive swipe function.
I start consuming hundreds of profiles on boring journeys or in queues for a slow barista.
We held hands as we walked to his place, kissing on a quiet square in Clerkenwell and I felt like a spontaneous 17-year-old …
Well, right up until this morning, when he asked me how I rated the sex so far from one to 10.
Just think of all the money I'll save on dinner dates now I can skip straight to the unfulfilling sex ...
Photo: Instagram If you haven't heard of Tinder, then congratulations: You are probably in a loving, monogamous relationship. And the best part about Tinder is you can people-watch without even putting a bra on. For every guy with a nice smile holding a shelter puppy is a dude in a fedora popping bottles at the local T. Related: The "Only Here For Sex" Dude will make things pretttttty clear in his bio, usually by telling you what he's only there for.
Tinder totally complements my lazy and attention-seeking personality. It usually takes me a few drinks to start talking to strangers but, thanks to my i Phone, I'm now virtu-flirting while I wee.
It's as compulsive as moodboarding baking projects on Pinterest: swipe, scroll, drool, click, reload. Wednesday The localised aspect of the app hits me tonight – at my local. I don't even need to leave my sofa to flirt, let alone risk liver damage in pursuit of enough Dutch courage to politely humour a clinger for 45 minutes.
“I'm not on Tinder for a relationship but I enjoy going on dates and having casual sex.
I’d never lie to someone about that.” But would he be economical with the truth to obscure the one-way street the relationship was headed down?
After ten minutes of contemplating if this is the Universe's way of telling me that I‘m not compatible with any men (Mum's been saying it for years), I realign my social-media gender.