“But comedians are just people, like everyone else! Very quickly after I had the thought, I shrugged it off again. There’s nothing worse than a girl talking about wanting to have a boyfriend, without having someone very particular in mind.” said no one ever, and thank God, because it’s wrong. They’re pretty and most of them don’t even know it, which creates a really attractive humbleness. I don’t want a boyfriend, I just want it to be my choice.I’ll get naked and pound my nose against your fridge till you can’t hold the laughter back anymore. It’s definitely a conversation I am not looking forward to.
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CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE FATAL KIND by Nick Redfern optioned by Bo Kaprall for M. ALIEN AGENDA by Jim Marrs, optioned by Jason Fox, Magilla Entertainment for TV.
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Think of it as a romantic gesture, defending your lady’s honour.
It was during my uk-search for “serial killers” that I thought to myself; Will anyone ever love me? I love you too much.” he’ll cry and I’ll hug him and tell him that everything is going to be alright, let’s start with a little slapping and take it from there.) You know, like any other normal couple. So I felt all grown-up and whilst I should have spent my planning-time on making a budget, I spent it on thinking about . It’s not that I have systematically whored my way through the Danish circuit of comedians, but there has been a few drunken nights that ended in a bed (or in a bush, don’t ask) and I’m not ashamed of (2/3 of) it.You can marry six black babes in a row and you’ll still be a racist. There will be Beyonce, yes, but old-school stuff you didn’t know existed. On one occasion you’ll drive the whole way from Sandton to Kempton listening to Forever My Lady by Jodeci. It’s disturbing having your lady look completely different and you’ll be shocked when she first walks in the door. Try not to gasp – she’s invested eleven hours in this, after all. You look amazing.”When you go out with a white babe, guys seem to at least grant you the basic respect of waiting till you’re not around before they try to woo her away from you. You can be standing right next to her at the gym, and some dude will grab her by the arm and ask her where she’s from. Try Silk, Tamia, Johnny Gill, Shai and Tevin Campbell. Policemen will wolf whistle her while you’re walking right next to each other. Sooner or later, you’re going to have to take someone by the throat and threaten to rip his fuckin’ eyes out. How do you rate the taste of umleqwa compared to normal chicken? I have no doubt in my mind that I will meet a decent guy (or just someone who showers more than twice a week) and we will play Scrabble together and argue over him not wanting to punch me a tiny bit in bed. I’m afraid that I will lose control over my own strength and I’ll just keep punching and punching and punching till the leftovers of your face look like a bloody spaghetti-with-minced-meat-dish and I will realise what I have done and become insane and start eating it and I won’t eat your brains, okay? But I have struggled with those thoughts the last week. As they say in Spiderman, “With great boyfriends come great arguments-about-babies-and-oh-get-the-AIDS-test-already-I-can’t-feel-anything-with-a-condom-on.” (sic) – But I was recently so fortunate to be reminded that sex is quite nice and having a boyfriend means to have sex regularly, plus, there’s the whole validate-me-the-way-my-father-failed-to-do-thing, that’s also pretty swell. Someone not craving the affection and affirmation of a thousand strangers. Someone who probably thinks that Dane Cook is ‘kinda funny’.It’s just that the only times I have had sex within the last couple of years, it has happened to be with comedians.You should never have to pay an agent prior to receiving your advance.